Legislation intended to protect such pensions meant that a readjustment of payments by the RPG employers was not allowed and the scheme just kept expanding. This became so alarming that the RPG universities encouraged their staff to retire as early as 60 or sooner so as to bring the asset expansion under control. The resulting windfalls were excessive by any standard. One recent retiree, Professor Richard Bonehead, said that it was a chance to fulfil a life-long dream to race ultrafast superbikes. Speaking from his hospital bed after only one practice lap at Monza on his expensive 250 mph all electric Samurai 7000SuperX, he said “I regret nothing” before fainting again.
Similarly, married Professors Erin Dors and Henry ‘Merthyr’ Jones said they were going their separate ways. Former archaeology academic, Professor Jones admitted that exploring the Aegean in a powerful motor yacht “might have been a mistake, but it was Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory” as he was towed from a remote island beach by a Greek Coastguard vessel. Meanwhile Professor Dors was planning the next stage of her Prosecco inspired Spa Resort in California. She has purchased a run-down motel in the hills near the Ventura Highway north of Los Angles and plans to run a communal luxury spa for retired female academics. This seems a long way from her position as a Professor of Ancient Greek Culture but she seems to be settling into her new role and said, “Some people think I am just being a dumb blond, well I aint dumb and I aint even blond”.