The Eastwood inquiry into ‘Degree Apprenticeships: Value for Society’ was released today. The disturbing outcome has set alarm bells ringing in the SCAM government corridors as they try to implement compulsory education for everyone in the Former UK States by the end of this year. The University of Middle England (UME) comes into the spotlight again for all the wrong reasons. The university is the largest in the Association of Independent Providers group of institutions and is the largest provider of degree apprenticeships in the Western European Confederation. Sir Harry Eastwood has sharply criticised them for their opaque management and dubious provision for thousands of students that is mostly delivered online. Several hundred employers are involved and at least forty-two of them are subsidiaries of the university itself.
Jumping on the ‘magic bus’.
Who takes responsibility?
Re-education minister, Karl Corbyn Junior III, said that the evidence points to little added value for society and the previous government seemed to be “literally flushing tax payers money down the toilet.”
We pressed the university for information on how many of their apprentice graduates were employed in suitable jobs. They declined to comment further but the enigmatic CEO, Virginia Fox, issued a formal statement praising the success of students from their apprentice degree programmes.
“Our first duty is to provide our students with a nugget of pure truth to wrap up between files of their tele-pads and keep on the screen saver forever. Regardless of your opinion, our students are of thoroughbred intelligence who ride their minds at a gallop across country in pursuit of an idea.”
By our stand in school correspondent Robert ‘Chips’ Doughnut.
Sean Cogwheel is on extended leave.