Sunday October six 2069
The
Socialist Conservative Alliance Movement (SCAM) Party Conference ended today on
a high note. It held its first
triumphant party conference since forming the government. They were gathered in
the massive Ultra Conference Centre in Cardington, near Bedford New Town,
having swept into government across three of the FUKS states in May. The
impressive size of the conference was only matched by the massive halls that
were formally used to construct huge airships in the last century. This was the
only indoor conference venue that could be used to accommodate the 25,000
delegates expected. Refurbished ten
years ago, Cardington UCC is the most modern and spacious centre of its kind in
the Western European Confederation States (WECS).
A speech to end all speeches.
Prime Minister
Margaret May delivered one of the greatest final day conference speeches of our
times to a packed hall. She savaged the aspirations and record of the last
government in typically brutal style. No stone was left unthrown as she condemned
Norman Larage’s administration to the “composter
of history”. “Larage and his rabid
acolytes have been rumbled finally. No more threats to our western European
neighbours by his Isolation Secretaries Boris Barking and Ronnie Robinson (Latterly
Education Secretary) as we enter a new era…..
The referendum on FUKSEXIT will never happen as the people have spoken”. She reserved particular vitriol for the former
Home Enforcement Secretary, Oswald Mosstone.
“Mosstone is rolling no more. He and his irregular police will gather innocent people’s
fauna no more. His fear tactics and network of surveillance will be dismantled”. Student activists that long opposed Larage
and Mosstone rose in unison and applauded loudly.
The education revolution.
The
education brief of Re-education Minister, Karl Corbyn Junior III was to
reinforce the commitment of the government to life-long learning, “from the incubator to the composter”.
All citizens in the FUKS would be registered for compulsory re-education from
ages two to sixty by the end of 2069 (see
earlier Timeline 2069 ‘Radical lifelong leaning plans announced’). The
speed of enactment of the legislation has astounded most observers. He
announced that he would deploy the latest AI machines in government and the
massive ‘Two Brains’ organic computer in Birmingham to check and model every
aspect of the ‘Re-Education Bill’. The
original idea harks back to the failed attempt to introduce a National
Education Service earlier this century. The ‘incident’ of 2019 meant that it
was shelved along with many other social measures.
Now everyone
will be compelled to register and engage in education for 20 hours per week. The
will be allocated a National Access Number or NAN that will help them access
resources online. He launched the slogan “Bored?
Need someone to help? There’s always your NAN”. This move is made possible by enforcing fully the
WECS ‘Leisure Time Directive’ that limits working to 20 hours per week. To
counter the increasing boredom, the SCAM plan is to direct everyone into more
useful education.
Oldman review revisited.
One aspect
of the policy is driven by a detailed assessment of the workforce carried out
two years ago in the little publicised Oldman Review. Prior to the ‘incident’
it was generally assumed that university and college provider academics were
isolated from society and needed to ‘get out more’. They were subsequently
forced to work outside of their academic environment for at least three months
every year from 2022. This practice has persisted as a loose, and generally
unregulated arrangement, since then. It also led to the university and college provider
employers assuming their staff had independent earnings for three months of the
year, even if they did not. This was a ruse to pay them for only nine months per
year and cut costs. Under Sir Henry Oldman (93), the review concluded that the precise
reverse was the case. Most university staff had worked hard to keep abreast of
the radical modern developments. He called them the “Repositories of memory and wisdom and not just mere dictionaries”.
He noted that “We must make up our minds
to be ignorant of much, if we would know anything. Academics are a good example of this and are at the leading edge of
ideas about social changes, science and new technologies”. In contrast, Oldman
concluded that most of the workforce, that had qualified years earlier, carried
on with what they knew from then and had little or no input of new ideas or
training over time. This was particularly pronounced in senior managers in
industry and commerce, as well as leading politicians, who had only a vague
understanding of the novel developments emerging around them. The Oldman review
recommended a radical reversal of the situation and compulsory re-education of
everyone on a rolling basis throughout their working lives.
A new beginning for the SCAM Party.
The SCAM Party
has its origins just after the ‘incident’ in 2019. An attempt was made to form
a coalition between the then Labour and Conservative Parties to challenge the
rise of extreme nationalism. The party
was first called the Socialist Conservative United Momentum Party or SCUM Party.
This initiative failed to materialise in the chaos post ‘incident’. Instead an
unruly parliament was inhabited by a series of independent MPs who were
lobbying for one or other populist cause. With a series of minority governments
trying to rule in this atmosphere, it became anarchic. For example, one
important bill on social housing proposed by SCUM in 2026 could only be passed
it if included free ice cream for all children on bank holidays demanded by
three independent MPs.
The inevitable
rise of extreme nationalism from this chaos came about when the FUKS joined the
Western European Confederate States (WECS). Nationalists protesters tried to
stop the Confederation forming and bitterly opposed the WECS headquarters being
established in Dublin. Called the Former UK States Isolation Party or FUKSI
Party, they rose slowly to dominate every facet of government. Under charismatic
Norman Larage, they finally took their seats as a majority government ten years
ago. This was with the help of their sister party, the Northern Ireland
Homeland Isolation League or NIHIL party (a breakaway group from the now disbanded
DUP that ruled before the ‘incident’). For the last ten years, FUKSIP has
strained relations with WECS to breaking point. The FUKSI demise came in the
last election when they promised to hold a referendum on membership of WECS if
they were returned as the government in 2069. This was their undoing and was
marked by the Isolation Secretary, Boris Barking, stating that “WECS is a betrayal of the people and I will
run naked through a field of corn if we do not leave”. Some observers think this finally swung the
electorate to the SCAM cause eager for a good laugh. The elections in May were held
simultaneously for the FUKS parliament and the governments of all of the FUK
states independently. With the exception of Northern Ireland, who returned another
NIHIL government, the SCAM Party had a landslide victory in all states. This is
unprecedented and cements in place a government that can now take the country
forward to forge greater links for most of the FUKS across the WECS.
And finally.
At the end
of conference, Margaret May led the singing of the now traditional anthem of
the SCAM party, ‘Dancing Queen’ composed by a popular Swedish combo, Abba, in
the last century. The origins of this tradition remain unknown but some believe
it goes back to an obscure event in pre ‘incident’ times. The delegates were in
on their feet at once and singing and dancing along to the music. They swept
from the hall at the end, still dancing and singing, into the Bedford New Town
facilities and surrounding cornfields.
Amidst the immense
joy, the now veteran journalist and commentator, Owen Jones, was heard to
remark.
“We all voted for them, sure what harm can
they do?” Time will tell.
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