Thousands of fans are detained by police at an event to mark the 100th anniversary of the 1970 TV series ‘UFO’. Police declare there were multiple breaches of the law.
But things started to go wrong around one am as the party was in full swing. A pile of button-up jackets dumped in one corner of the auditorium suddenly caught fire. There was some panic in the smoke as people rushed for exits, but thankfully no one was hurt. The campus fire service arrived within three minutes and extinguished the fire. However, they were not happy with the overall situation. It seems that the authentic jackets were made from illegal and highly flammable polyester. Furthermore, many delegates were smoking cigarettes as was the custom in 1970. The combination proved to be very dangerous.
Fire officer Sam Montag from Pontypandy stated that, “We were lucky tonight that no one was injured. The combination of flammable clothes and lighted cigarettes was a big problem in 1970 and still is it seems. Those wearing polyester jackets, jump suits, nylon swimwear, and nylon wigs are taking a terrible risk in a crowded venue”.
We spoke with the organiser and UME Student President, Syd Barrett (pictured) who at first asked, “Pardon you will have to speak up. Who are you?” then “Yes, I admit it was a bit loud, but we were looking for an authentic experience. The fire was unfortunate and none of us were aware of the flammable nature of the materials”. We asked if he regretted the event and he rolled his eyes, stubbed out a strangely sweet-smelling cigarette and said “We wanted to have fun. I think young people should have a lot of fun. But I never seem to have any.” He then looked up and noticed something out of the corner of his eye before rushing off shouting “Careful with the axe Eugene!”
From our culture history correspondent and self-proclaimed ‘Prince of Darkness, John ‘Ozzy’ Osbourne III.