In an exclusive report, Timeline 2070 can reveal that an internal inquiry into the disastrous Christmas party at UME last year (see Timeline 2069 ‘University of Middle England Cancels Christmas after riotous party.’ Sunday December twenty two 2069) has ended with the banning of an elusive student society known as ‘The Next Tuesday Adventists’. We contacted the CEO of UME, Virginia Fox, who confirmed the outcome of the inquiry, “We had to act swiftly to stop further chaos on our campus. In a way we are doing the student society a service and they are free to follow their dogma; but outside of UME. I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in".
How did it go wrong?
The repressive era of the FUKS Isolation government of Norman Larage and his so called ‘rabid acolytes’ gave further impetus to the student movement and it became widespread. The weekly parties were more and more outrageous under the banner of ‘religious freedom’. The UME management quickly found a strong link between the Next Tuesday Adventists and the destructive Christmas party. Particular blame has been placed upon the actions of former Media and Technology lecturer, Professor Brainy Koks, who was recently dismissed (reported by Timeline2069 ‘Uproar at University of Middle England as lecturer is sacked for refusing to produce ‘cookies’ at traditional student teaching evaluation’ Sunday December eight 2069).
Professor Koks admitted that, as a logical extension of his Calvinist upbringing, he was an active member of the society along with many other staff. He told us that the repressive university management and society in general were to blame, “The students have a right to celebrate their personal religious beliefs openly and without persecution”. In response to the idea that the ‘Next Tuesday Adventists’ were actually seeking to accelerate the end of the world in the run up to Christmas, he admitted that things had got “a little too imbued with youthful enthusiasm”.
Society President, Graham Rapture, said that there was a sound basis for their philosophy that attracted many younger people to its lifestyle “We set the agenda for the next generation and hopefully many to come”. He seemed oblivious to the logical inconsistency in his viewpoint.
By our religion correspondent, Mickie Nostradamus.